Feeling blue...

(Found this on someone's blog. It really touched me. Sadly Beautiful)

A rare phenomenon.
I am feeling down and low.
Maybe its you,
Maybe its just me...
Or maybe its the way things were to be.

Sigh, I am a generally happy kid...
I have always looked at life's gifts,
not at what I don't have (how can one look at what one doesn't have?).

But things are way too wrong this time,
this time I am not on a high,
this time I am not doing well,
this time I don't have someone to tell me- it will be ok...

But when did I ever have anyone,
I was always 'the someone', 'the anyone', 'The One'... Sigh!
Then why now this emptiness, this void?
I am unsure, lonely, brave enough to admit I am scared...

It rained today and for the first time,
those heavenly drops didn't lift my spirits up...
Is there something wrong with the heart?
or is my mind playing tricks with me?
I don't know- I am idle and sad as I could be!
Some one save me please, I am falling...

I need a guardian angel, or just a friend.

Sometimes, the inspirer needs motivation too...
Smile. And your troubles will wash away. (thats what I tell everyone)

:)

mohito

P.S. Don't worry. Ignore the ranting. Had to vent it out. I'll be back to being my perfect self soon. Haha! :D

South Africa baby!

These term hols were the bestest holidays ever in my entire life of seventeen years! Coz I went to South Africa via SIA for 10 days with ACsian Theatre- one of my favouritest groups of people in the whole world (note the use of superlatives)... And even though I am writing after quite a long time (thanks to the excellentest internet connection in the hostel!), the memories are as fresh as daisies in my mind- all I need is time to pen it, or rather type it...

DAY 1- March 7

the prep. The day started with me washing clothes and ironing them before going to AC for final rehearsal... Hold on, not yet on the plane! After the rehearsal, I went to buy dance shoes, toiletries, South African currency and other essentials... And I also collected my A Level mother-tongue grade... And thankfully, I got an A... But by the looks of it, it might be the only A on my mark-sheet... So, dont say Oooooh and Yaaaaaayyy!! Anyways, I had to reach school at 7:00 as I was included in the trolley team, which meant very little time was left for packing and everything after I reached hostel after buying all my paraphernalia! I am so glad that Anuj decided to help me with the packing because I would never have been able to finish without him taking the initiative but then all of that was in vain! Because Mrs. Creffield told me that the rest of the team had finished loading when I called her at 7... Sigh, I wish I could help! Anyways, I finished packing my suitcase and my super heavy and huge red hand bag, which most probably weighed more than my check-in luggage... I even had dinner and then after almost forgetting my slippers, I left for the airport with Joahanna, Anuj and Ankita... Our 'angellic' room-mates had decided to accompany us (which would result in an hourly report in the near future *angry*)... I was so overwhelmed with emotion... :)


thanks 'A' n 'A'. much treasured -- Yo's stupid antics all the way

the airport. It felt awesome to just be there with the rest of the club... Everyone was so elated... I was being a cam-whore for the first time in my life! A lot of parents and drama people had come to see us off... Aww! Ah, it was the best feeling in the whole wide world... To know that I was going to have the time of my life with these amazing friends for life... It was quintessential and surreal and don't know what more! Our principal Mrs. Chan also came to say goodbyes and pray for us, it was so sweet! I love AC <3>I talked to Papa and Ma before we finally boarded the plane... I was sitting near the window with Mark and Gabby, my soon-to-be-roomies! The flight was all about SIA food, SIA movies and SIA sleep! And when I dreamed of South Africa, I knew it was going to be something I'll never forget... :)))


me and Anuj emoing away! Actually we are quite happy, aren't we? Haha!

nostalgic mohito =)

P.S. More photos and entries to come... Watch this space for the rest of the 9 days!

Thankful... :DDD

I am thanking life... For what it has given me sooo far... Its amazing how lucky I am to get so many things in the same life... Awesome parents! Owe them every breath... Owe them everything... Most of my family is also 'cherishable', especially my grandparents, muahh! :)

Friends back home who still remember me like Punu, Rishi, Abhinav, Kartik, Anchal, Umang, Nitish, Prateek, Renuka and a lot more... And if you don't remember me, prepare to DIE!! Haha, just kidding... I am not that worth remembering all the time, but please don't forget me... Don't ever give up on me...

Friends here in Singapore, who are quite a few- Anuj, Vishesh, Ankita, Maria, Hai Ching, Wei Yong, AC Dancers & AC Thespians (most of them atleast)... I don't know how would I have lived in this country without you guys...

And today, after Arts Night, I knew I was thankful for my drama juniors- Lian Kim and Vinesh especially, and also John, Ms. Wong (haha!!), Becky, Farhana... Love you guys... Lian, you were sad with me even though you were Ms. AC Arts Night 2008! You are the best, love! <3

I am thankful for so many teachers that have shaped me, including my dear choreographer Mr. Gerard Sebastian Raj, who has given me more than any teacher has- AC Dance... I cherish it more than my life right now... Thanks for so many opportunities- SIA scholarship, South-Africa trip as ACsian theatre, and countless more...

Thanks God, therefore, for this life...

P.S. The last statement only holds true if God truly exists... 8D

mohito >:)

The Storm has passed...

Or atleast it looks like it... Terms the Disaster are officially over...

Today was my 'A' Level Physics SPA. And its not some relaxation or beauty treatment... Its just "hell in the science lab"... It was the best SPA ever... But still I used multimeter in series as voltmeter... For those of you who don't know, multimeter can actually be used as both voltmeter(to calculate voltage) and ammeter(to calculate current)... So, basically I screwed up all my values... Coz I didn't have a clue how to use the damn thing! Yet somehow I managed to get a perfectly straight line for my graph... Anyways, its over now... So much for the best SPA ever! :| I need to get a real SPA treatment...

Sigh! Ok, the thing is that I have, for the record, had my worst exams ever... And I have not yet come to terms to Terms...

It started with K&I, and thanks to Sai bhaiyya's tutoring (thanks a lot buddy :D), I survived Section A... which was one epistemological essay allotted one and a half hours... Then the other was also one and a half hours but we had to do essays, one of which included reading a two page long sucky article, that made my mind swirl! Its so unfair and unwise of them to partition the exam like that, I couldn't finish... >:

Then came Maths and English Literature on the same day!! Ah, now my ex-batchmates in India should be feeling lucky! All the best guys! Chiong all the way (Singlish ;D)! I couldn't finish Maths too, and I will surely fail because of some concealed biological reasons... :(

I went for Lit and whistled my way through Section A (poetry comparision)... Thanks to Mrs. Creffield for that unprecedented and god-sent consultation! But I think I took more than the required time to write 4 pages... Hence, the incomplete Lit exam too...

I couldn't finish Physics too... But not because I didn't have time but because I didn't know what to write... I finished the 2-hour paper in 45 minutes! Can you believe it? Mr. Tay was liek ,"Try. Try." Coz I was sleeping after one hour! I know it sounds funny, but its pathetic for a previous school topper! Ah, my faded glories... I should learn to stop dwelling on them anymore.

Chemistry was quite easy, and went quite well beyond my humble expectations (because I had opened the notes only when I reached the hall)... I hate myself for NOT STUDYING. WHY CAN'T I JUST SIT DOWN AND READ THE BLOODY NOTES??? Moving on, I think I should pass in Chem quite easily (I can't believe myself- I am talking in terms of passing and failing instead of 95% and 90%!!!) So, there goes the ultimate record for not being able to complete a single exam!

I am so not going anywhere now... All my hopes for that one thing have being dashed to the ground by none else than me... Wow! perfect! *angry*

So, I am flying off to South Africa day on 8th morning... And there is excitement, but I am way too stressed for my packin' n shoppin' to be actually happy! Plus the Terms. And I am also going to miss Dance on Saturday... God, please save me.

Anyways, I have to call up people for my dance shoes, then go shopping, even though all I wanna do is watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S... Its like the ultimate stress-buster... They are unbelievably funny... :DDD

mohito...

Happy Birthday to me! :)

Okay, now I have moved on from being sweet sixteen to being sexy seventeen... *Smug* Haha, I have been 17 for 3 hours 40 minutes(Singapore time) and 1 hour 20 minutes(IST)... Wooh! Anyways, there is nothing much exciting about my birthday...It never was. Ever since I was in a school, I have faced exams on my b'day- last year being the only exception. So, thanks to Maths and Literature on monday, no parties, no outings, nothing. But I am content by the wishes and love. My dad was the first one to wish me this year too... Great partnership Dad! Hi-Five! Although my room-mate and the other best friend I have here hasn't wished me yet... I don't know if I am sad. Not actually. They will, they better. Thanks Ankita, Hai Ching, Wei Yong, Yi Rhu (from Malaysia <3), Yuvika, Anchal, Frances and Mr. Yap. This goes on to show how girls are much more considerate and affectionate than boys. Buck up guys!

Exams are not so much in full swing. KI paper 1 was ok but I really screwed up the unfairly long and difficult Paper 2. I suck! And I have not even started studying for Physics, Chem, Maths or English! *ironic pat on the back* I have not even started preparing for South-Af... I so don't want anything to go wrong in this trip... Please Please Please... Working really hard for something secret. Hope it works out! I will be the happiest person on earth. Please once more.

And why does it keep happening to me? I discovered something really heart-breaking today... I suspected it but it was dissapointing anyways... One day...

It was Founder's Day yesterday (Actually its today, but ceremony was yesterday)... Saw all the prize winners and I was thinking why am I not there... I always used to be there... What happened? What went wrong? I soo need to work hard. Congrats Adi. And your Mom's the coolest! She came all the way here to surprise you! Wow! I wish I could achieve as much to make my parents proud.

I could, I will. Legend- wait for it, wait for it. And I hope you are not lactose impatient because the next part of the word is da(i)ry. Did anyone get it? I am going to study hard for terms, I already have the motivation now. Courtesy Mr. Mervin Sek.

I think I will take a nap now. Its 4 in the morning. Good Night.

17 years old mohito! 8D

P.S. I love you.

The movie made me cry... Oh, maybe you can't just call 3 or 4 teardrops crying, but still! It was awesome and amazing and so touching and moving... Ah, now I actually like Hillary Swank- she's so cute!! :)))... And I want to go to Ireland (its the most picturesque place ever!), and I want to fall in Love <3 style="font-style: italic;">*ironic pat on the back*

Had a mixed day yesterday, classes were fine... Had the most hilarious Chem class ever... Hats off to the teacher! *evil grin* But I have now three KI essays to do. DIE!!! I got B in my literature essay! *jumps around with joy* I am actually improving, Yay! I have loads and loads of work to do- study, shopping for South Af, study, packing for South Af, study, cleaning my room, study! AAAAA!! When am I ever going to be free??? *gives up*

Even as I am writing this, I am troubled by The Trojan Horse. No, its not the legendary war prop, it is a computer virus, that is slowly but certainly becoming biological. Proof: I have a headache with all the warnings and it just simply refuses to be cleaned away by my trustworthy AVG anti-virus and Windows Defender! SOS! HELP!

Had a fight with the caterers in the hostel. "You SUCK! and your food SUCKS even more!" Then, Anuj and I complained to Mr. Wong about them. I am fed up of them. He started shouting at us when we tried to explain that he should verify before giving away the vegetarian food to any Tom-Dick-Harry! That was it. I am not going to take any more of their bullshit. Period. And I can already foresee the food problems I'm going to face during South Africa. Still- Vegetarianism ROCKS!!

Okay, I have to now plan for my yet-one-more-shopping-spree... I need to buy clothes, jazz boots, stuff for South Af and a wallet too! I need $$... ::D

One more thing- I realize that there are a few special people in this world who care about such an idiot as me- my family, my friends, my teachers, my fans (just kidding!)... I want to take this time to remember all those people now because 'kya pata, kal ho na ho'... I just want to say thanks for being there, loving me and everything else. You mean a lot to me. I won't take names here, in case my slow mind forgets some. But know that my heart never will.

P.S. I love you too.

Meet the spendthirft mohit!

At home, I couldn't have imagined myself spending so much, but here I have no reins at all!! And I am on a spending-spree... For example, my earlier Chocolate waffle diet has gone from from waffle+toast to waffle+toast+brownies... I have to buy clothes, dance boots and don't know what else... Ate out today again, reason being my late home-coming from Drama...

Oh, just to tell you- we had a pizza party in the cluster yesterday and I ate 5 slices! And I was half-dead after that... Maybe the green tea also killed me because there were no aerated drinks! Anyways, it was heaven of food after such a long time! Thankyou God! :D

But I am losing my stamina and appetite for pizza now... I mean ONLY 5!!! o_0

And I ate a kaya, butter toast with a P.o.S.H. brownie in school... Then bought Cheeseburger, Root-beer, Cheese fries, Orange Juice, Dough nut, Pasta! So much money spent! And I have South Af coming up soon'""

Haven't taken a bath yet... Too lazy *yawns* Can't go to school tomorrow, my whole body is like paralyzed! I just talked to one of my friends and almost ended up fighting, then she called from India. Thanks Anchal, Hug!
(Mental note to self- Don't chat when you are tired and cranky.)

That's pretty much it I guess.

mohito says aloha!

Dance, Dance, Dance.

I have been busy as a bee (I still remember using that line in my letters)... But this time, its not fictional... I have literally no time... But I still feel I am wasting a lot of time... Anyways, Valentines Day was OK... Nothing more than that... Just got some gifts, and feeling super bad about not giving any... But I guess my love language is touch! A BIG sorry to my mortal in Dance- I didn't give any gifts for her 18th and Valentines... Bad Angel. >:|

I had DEP ISes- two in a row! De Wei's on Saturday and Gabriel's on Sunday... Can you imagine going to the school at 6 o' clock at dawn! It was exciting but lethargic too... Hmmm... Saw some one very 'desirable' on Sunday morning... She was working as crew there... Won't mention names here, shall we? Both the ISes went great, all the best to both of you guys- you rock! And kudos to Lian Kim, Joanne, Rich, Aretha, Edlyn and Tazz for making both of the exams such a great experience... :D We also took photos after De Wei's exam, when is Joanne going to put them up??? Hurry Girl! And yup, Phew! Now I am quite free until As...

continued from last night...

Yay, Chin has finally put up the great works of her photography on her journal... So, here are the photos¹... G.L.A.M.O.R.O.U.S.

















De Wei's great stint as the emcee... Congrats for the B... You are sure to get an A in the actual exam...



"Hello Darlings"... Arethea, oops, Aretha as Sally Bowles ... Rock on chica!



"Try Helga aka Edlyn"... Our source of inspiration... She was more enthu than De Wei himself... Its always amazing to have her zing around!



"See, I told you that the pianist was beautiful"... Our source of Joy and music too...

















And the fabulous photographer herself- Joanne... Lulu, the cunning linguist!
NOTE: The shear in her stocking is not to make her look unglam, but to portray the poverty of the cabaret dancers!

















*gapes with an open mouth*
Not because they are acting lesbians, thats their characters but because Rosie (also sometimes refered to as Richenda the gossip girl) is cheating on Lulu for Sally!!! OMG!

And finally, presenting the carbaret boys :-



The two straightest guys on earth (keeping my fingers crossed for you Tazz :p) playing The legendary gays...

*drumroll*

Hans.
























And Hermann (me)! "There is nothing funny about Hermann"!

















Mama mia! This shot of mine is the sexiest, classiest, most glamorous photo in the world. Period.
(Can anyone notice the pimple on my face? No right?)


On Monday i.e. yesterday, we had this exchange program with Mandala University from the Philipines in Dance... It was very hasty and last-minute at first: We suddenly decided to do the whole of 'Culture in Motion' and Feedback too! They performed their own traditional dances, and they were awesome and very professional! But AC Dancers certainly left their own mark too- you just burn the Aerobics studio guys! As I had to leave for Drama, I couldn't have the good-lookin' smokin' hot food! Sigh... I am too lazy to post any photos now... So, just go to Joanne's journal from my links and see for yourself... My fav. photo:-

















This is the group photo =)))) I was almost dying and I am sure Joan was too... We stood there for hours posing for photographs, feeling like celebrities... It felt damn good! Haha, just kidding... They were really nice people and we all had fun.

Drama was Disaster! Not because of the rehearsal but because someone very important now hates me and he thinks that I broke his trust and I am not loyal to him... I hope I could tell you face-to-face but this is not the case Raj because I respect you and you are very very very significant in my life... Please don't lose faith in me.

TODAY (actually its past midnight, but never mind).

Restless is on a roll! Its now called "Journey" from "Passion, Power & Pirouettes" from "The Best in me"... Please let this be as awesome as "Timeless" because it surely can't be better with my seniors missing! I miss you. Raj has told us about the numbers, the genres, the themes, the casting, and I gather there will be a set and a backdrop! Yuppa Yuppa Andre Andre! And there will be the dance jacket with a hood and the restless outfit (Jeans and T) in the opening! Picture that! :D I can't stop day-dreaming about it! And I can't wait for it! =))) Please Please let it be a blast and a time to shine and bond with all the AC Dancers and Raj and madams!

I shall rest my voice now. Pretty long post. Aniice!

mohito (thats going to be written on my ACsian Theatre jacket- All the world's a stage!)

¹All the photos are copyright Joanne Chin and stolen from her blog by Agent M. *SMUG*

You can't stop the beat... Ever Ever after! =)

Those are the two songs going through my mind right now... Connections- Dance, Raj, Female singers, Drama Dancers like Yun Ning, Clarice, Jasreen (sorry if I spelt your name wrong)... Its fun, and really this time- fun is killing me...

(Wait, I need to go for a bath first... Be right back!)

Hey, I am back- feeling fresh, sitting topless (I prefer minimal clothing ;D) and typing in front of the notebook... By the way, Happy Valentines to you! Wooh, the day of love is here! Not that there is anything special in store for me though- I am usually quite unlucky in the matters of the heart... Let me see, I am thinking about some really special people right now... It was and is great to know you... And that is all I will say!

(Wait, I need to make a call back home to some one extra special...*searches for the calling card*... there you are!)

I am back again... Well, it was a nice (interrupted twice) talk... I love the breeze when I am half naked (Ignore)! It was nice to talk to her after so many months (a record three!)... But I am worried for her... hope everything works out well for her... As for me, I don't know when will anything work out at all! *gives up, almost*

Never mind because I am pathetically optimistic... There is still hope, my friend! Today was as busy and tiring as ever... I was excused from what could be 'my last X-country in AC' for ACsian Theatre... I even didn't do PE today... Thanks Mdm Lim for being so understanding... I don't have a substantial text role in the play but that is fine with me... Maybe, I am not worth it... Scope for improvement, ha! Told you- I am pathetically optimistic... Dance was awesome, we finished the second dance too... but I am having an overdose these days... I mean come on, its almost every day of the week now... Save the Sundays! But tara tata ta, I'm lovin' it! =)))))

AAAAAA!! I have lots of work... I shall make a list *wishes this will help*

1. high priority. Study. Study. Study. Chem CA approaching (Friday). Maths File (tomorrow). Terms clouding above (in two weeks).
2. Clean and arrange the room. Its a mess. Shelves (need ordering), Notes (need filing), clothes (need ironing), bed (need sheets), table (needs clearing up), cupboard (needs something), food (needs eating). In short, everything.
3. Shopping.. Also refers to buying clothes, dance boots, wallet and stuff for SA. Hurry!
4. Work-out. Pump and chin-ups. No need for extra Dancing! D'uh! 0_O
5. Pay my bills. School bills, Phone bills, other bills.
6. Talk to Singtel. They are drivin' me crazyyyy!

Someone save me please. Looking for a 'gaurdian angel' O=) to whoosh my troubles away, especially in view of Valentines Day...

mohito; needs love like everyone else. =)

P.S. To all those happy couples out there. Just Love It.
P.S.S. To all those single n happy people out there (like me). Wait For It.
P.S.S.S. To all those troubled couples out there. Work For It.
P.S.S.S.S. Its Valentines Day. Enjoy! :D

...

So, I am sitting here with my laptop on my lap... with the headphones on my head... that reminds me that no music is playing and I turn on 'Beautiful Love'- I love that song, just a bit too fast for this moment... (What a beautiful smile)... I am in a state of mess- in every way of the phrase... My room is a mess, well not so much, but still way below the standard of organized... (Maybe, a greater thing will happen)... The weather outside my dusty and closed windows is pleasant... (On this beautful night, we'll make everything right)... Hopefully!

Vishesh just came and asked for ketchup, took it and went... I have been dwelling upon the lack of human interaction for so many days now! Ah, I will survive... Rihanna's 'Cry' is playing now- no particular significance... I see my guitar next to the wall, rotting away... my books and notes fluttering in the wind, piled up on the table and shelves... And I think to myself- "Where am I headed to?"...

4 day long holidays are going for CNY... Maybe I shouldn't be so cynical... hmmm... Xian nian kwai la (Did I say it right, Steph? ;D)... I didn't even wish anyone Happy Chinese New Year this time :( Happy New Year of the Rat everyone! :D

Yesterday was a great day, save for the end of it... I and Anuj went and played cricket with the AJ ppl... awesome food@ Little India... then, the singing@ Farrer Park (I am not so sure if that park was actually farrer park or not! Haha)... But then, we came back to the hostel and my splendid mood was spoiled by INSIGNIFICANT some ones...

Restless IV's 'An Unanswered Question' playing now... And I am inevitably reminded of my dance idol- Steph... Hw r u? Haven't caught up with you in a long while... you should know why... Don't know if you will ever read this, but hope you are doing fine... No hope you are doing great, you deserve every bit of it. I shall speak no more about this.


(Stay. Stay. Stay. Stayyy.)


(How many times do I have to try to tell you...)


I have lots on my mind, but nothing in my actions... Studies- my ambitious plans of completing 5 maths tutorials in these hols going down the drain! =s Then, I have to plan for my parents' holidays here... And South Africa- I am happy for having made it, but worried too- about Raj, the vaccinations (Ouch!), about not having given the passport thingy, and about shopping for SA! And also I haven't done Himavad Bhaiyya's work for the GC yet... Feeling damn guilty about it...

Listening to Jawed Ahmed's 'Bin Tere' now- reminds of my heartaches now...

(Bin tere kya hai jeena)... I wish Umang is doing fine... haven't talked to her for a long time... since 10th December of last year actually... almost three months! Can't believe it, but I think I am getting over her now... as long as she is happy... Can't talk about it anymore too.


(Far away, I feel your beating heart...)


(I tried to find my place with you... What a beautiful...)


Turns out to be highly incoherent, depressing, incomplete post... Great!

mohito (needs refrigeration!)

P.S. A cheering thought. I have been recently inspired and fascinated by photography... *prays for a new camera*... All thanks to Joanne, rather her blog... Rock on chica! =)

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